Secret Despair
by Flaming-Dragon-of-the-Moon
Summary: Someone knows that Setsuna has certain feelings for someone he shouldn't. This is a songfic to Stand Up.


_MoonDragon: OK, I wrote this really quickly. If you've read my other stories, doubt you have but if so, then you'd know that me and a certain friend have bets over fanfiction and what we write. This songfic is a part of that. I wrote it in a day, so don't expect much. I don't own the song or Angel Sanctuary, so don't kill me, I rather like my life. The song belongs to Trapt and is labeled Stand Up._

**Secret Despair**

"I know." 

Setsuna's footsteps halted and his blood frosted over to a threatening level. Those two words penetrated to his eardrum and seemed to echo like the sound of a single drop of water in a secluded area. Currently he had been walking idly through the vacant halls of school. The bell had rung long ago ensuring that everyone left early on, and he thought it was empty besides himself. The voice that spoke out to Setsuna came form the corner at the end of the hall.

_Why don't you let me be  
Leave me alone_

"Mudou-kun, how are you?" the smooth voiced asked as its owner stepped out into the open, bare to his eyes. Setsuna couldn't recall ever seeing this person before. He sported shaggy brown hair, thick, round glasses, oily features, and didn't exactly dress the way a more preppy teen would. Unable to resist the impulse to spout what comes to mind he replied.

"Wow, you look like a loser." The stranger twitched and his jaw tightened, but he drove down the urge to protest. Instead he walked up to him with a grin playing on his lips. His steps faltered as he came face to face with Setsuna. 

"I'd be careful about what I say if I were you. Just shut your trap and listen to my request." With his middle and pointer finger he pushed his overly large glasses up his nose adjusting them for several seconds. "I hear you're pretty strong, so I want you to rough someone up for me. Just knock him around a little bit and maybe break a bone or two." 

_You start a fire inside that I could never control  
You wanna see a reaction_

"Why should I help you? Get out of here," he said in a laid back tone leaning against the wall, hands in his pocket. Setsuna wasn't someone to take orders from random people. 

"Because I know." From those two words again, Setsuna could hear his heartbeat as if it were being played over the school speakers for everyone to heed. True, they could mean many things, but the one he had in mind could ruin his life in seconds. Praying to whatever God might be up there he scoffed trying to act like this stranger wasn't affecting him. 

_Come on and cut me down  
You've gone as far as I'll go_

_Now you're crossing the line  
And I am letting you know_

"Know what?" 

"I know that you're in love." This stranger chuckled to himself in some sort of odd glee, which was the exact opposite that Setsuna was feeling. His hands clamped up and a cold sweat broke over his pores. If he thought his heart was pounding loud before, now it could probably cause an earthquake destroying cities in its path. Gulping didn't help his constricting throat that refused to create sound. 

"…"

"Mudou Sara, huh? My God, she's your sister! How messed up could you possibly be!" 

_Well here's your reaction_

Without wasting a second, Setsuna was charging at this teen and had him up against the window, fists buried in his shirt collar. He growled and felt his blood steaming white hot enough that it surprised him that it didn't melt his skin clean off. 

_Stand up_

_I have had enough_

"Who told you this? _WHO TOLD YOU THIS!"_ he spat fuming with an impossible rage to contain. He couldn't comprehend how he came across this information. The only other person who knew of his sick, twisted desire was Kira, and he was trustworthy. Every fiber of his being wished that this fool wedged between the window and his fists would just walk away. Just walk away and forget this conversation. Walk away before he lost control and pummeled him into an unrecognizable mess. 

_  
Walk away before I finish what you started  
Face to face I will put you in your place  
End this game before I finish what you started  
Face to face everything will change_

"No one had to tell me, all I had to do was observe. I see the looks on your face when her name is mentioned, and how you stare at her eerily every time she walks by. I'm surprised you try to hide it, it's so obvious!" He couldn't speak more as he was violently bashed once against the window causing his glasses to fall to the ridge of his nose. 

_You planted the seed  
How my anger has grown  
Got an feeling inside that I can't seem to control  
You wanna see a reaction_

"Shut up! I swear, if you tell _anybody_ I'll-"

"You'll what? Beat me up! Ha! Do that and this entire city will know within days!" he shouted back putting his glasses in their proper place. "If you just deal with the person I was mentioning earlier, then your dirty, little secret will be kept quiet." The stranger let out a mean-spirited laugh and sneered. "You're so disgusting, I swear. Loving your sister, of all people in the world?"

"Or you could keep your mouth shut and escape with your life," Setsuna threatened as his fists clenched harder. "If you walk away, right now, and don't say a single word to anyone, I promise I won't kill you."

_Come on and cut me down  
You've gone as far as I'll go  
Now you're crossing the line and I am letting you know  
Well here's your reaction_

"I wonder," he pondered, as if the things Setsuna didn't get through to him, "if Sara-san feels the same for you? She could be as vile, twisted, disgusting, and putrid as you-"

_Stand up  
I have had enough  
Walk away before I finish what you started  
Face to face I will put you in your place  
End this game before I finish what you started  
Face to face everything will change_

Setsuna snapped. Every muscle in his body twitched in sheer fury as he connected his fist into the guy's stomach. The stranger coughed as saliva dribbled down his chin. Setsuna struck every inch of flesh that he could see with hands and feet in combos he had only witnessed in violent video games which would mentally scar a child. He didn't care whether he said miserable things about himself, and Setsuna even thought about beating the mentioned guy up to keep the secret, but no one insulted Mudou Sara. No one.

_Insult after insult, after insult, after insult_

This dorky teenager started this conversation and, without walking away, it was up to Setsuna to finish what the stranger started; with violence. 

Setsuna knocked him down to the ground after several moments of venting his stress. He was a mess; bruises tattooed onto his skin, glasses broken in a heap a few feet away, and his features swirled into a mess of agony as he let out a whine. 

_After insult, after insult, after insult, after insult_

"Stand up." It was a command that thundered throughout the hall with the power backing it up. "Stand up and walk away, keeping your filthy mouth closed." The sniveling mess still had some fire power in him and stood up, but he didn't walk away.

"I wonder if you're… fighting this hard because… it's true that she loves you back. Maybe you two are already seeing each other keeping it secret. Well, guess what, that's incest! That's one of the highest sins you can commit, and God's surely going to send you to hell for it!"

_After insult, after insult_

"_Shut UP!"_ Setsuna boomed, a fire flaring in his eyes, wild and dangerous. The teen didn't know if Sara returned his feelings, and half wished she didn't. He knew how serious incest was. His own mother denied him any love because she knew of his feelings. He knew it was one of the highest sins. God was probably spitting down on his image at this very moment. He knew all of that. And the fact that the only thing he ever desperately wanted was his own sister and he couldn't have her sent him over the edge. 

He lost control. The nerd actually had the nerve to charge after the teen with a pitiful blow, but Setsuna pushed him back with impressive force. Too impressive. It seemed that he didn't realize his own strength, and when he did it was too late. 

_Walk away  
Everything will change_

He propelled the stranger so forcefully that he was thrown back against the window… and then out it. 

_End this game_

Everything happened in slow motion at that point. Moments before the teen had fallen, Setsuna made a grab to keep him inside the building, but it was too late. He screamed and flopped through the air from the second story and planted himself into the pavement below. Setsuna watched in horror as his head smacked the hardest, and blood spewed from the open wound the impact created and Setsuna tripped backwards. On the ground he supported himself with his palms faced down and sweated. 

_You wanna see a reaction_

"Oh, God, what have I done?"

_You wanna see a reaction_

ooOoo

"I hear he's in the hospital," Kira concluded, taking a drag of his cigarette. "They say he's suffering from amnesia and loads of broken bones. He's so lost he can't even remember his own name, and the doctors say he probably won't recover any of his memory for as long as he lives. The guy can't even remember you were the one who pushed him out the window. You got off lucky, Setsuna… you're secret is safe, and you won't be getting in any trouble."

Setsuna leaned back against the park bench looking at the sky. Kira, next to him standing, leaned to the side so his hand rested on the back of the bench and supported his frame. Sighing, he brought his head in his hands and grieved.

He was relieved that the stranger died, and even more relieved that his secret was safe. His secret, which was the cause of his despair, was safe. 

_Stand up_


End file.
